You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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