She's JV to your varsity
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
