Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
