he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
