i can't believe i had my finger in that
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
