somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
