So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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