New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
