weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
