She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
