i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
