Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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