Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
