Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
