It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
