I hate all girls vehemently.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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