Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Randomize
