Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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