mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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