dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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