If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
