I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
