You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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