Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
