Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I love having hate sex.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
