Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize