I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize