i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
