What a fucking waste of an outfit
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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