that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
