My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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