So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize