Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
