what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Two words: blizzard sex
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
