In the future we'll all be gay
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize