Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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