he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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