Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
