Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Everyone says I win the strip club
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
