No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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