Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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