Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
