Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
