guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
