You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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