Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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