Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
why is half of my head shaved?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
