I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
