you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The power of my boobs compel you
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
