So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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