Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
