were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
