how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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