what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
