I seem to have left my pride at pride
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
