just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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