I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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