she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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